The level of pride, majivuno, kujigamba, kudunisha, kiburi na bwebwe that Rigathi Gachagua will have going forward is simply unimaginable.
Don’t be surprised if Wamunyoro becomes the unofficial State House of Mt. Kenya politics. Every politician planning to hold a rally in Mlima will first be required to make a pilgrimage there with a token of appreciation before receiving the blessing to proceed.
Even those in the Opposition won’t be spared. It won’t be shocking to find Kalonzo Musyoka pushing a lawn mower at Wamunyoro as part of his “consultative meetings.”
Mzee might even start introducing himself as the political weather forecaster, chief medicine man, kingmaker, fortune teller, and the officially self-appointed spokesman of the Akikuyuu. Before making any major political decision, leaders will be expected to ask, “Mzee amesema nini?”
Soon, people will joke that no coalition can be formed, no party can be launched, and no political seat can be declared vacant until Wamunyoro gives the green light.
And heaven help anyone who dares to disagree with him. According to the village rumor mill, you’ll start having bad dreams, kukula bila kushiba, kuguruma tumbo for no reason, kujikuna kwa makwapa na hata kule chini, your tea will lose its taste, your phone battery will never charge beyond 5%, and every avocado you buy will be rotten at the center.
At this rate, Google Maps might soon reroute all politicians to Wamunyoro before taking them anywhere else. Even those seeking God’s guidance may first be asked, “Ulishapitia kwa Mzee?”
Gachagua wants to make Wamunyoro the political Vatican of Mt. Kenya.
The question is, Is this really what Mt. Kenya wants? A leader… or a demigod
